Cazual Conversation

A claw-hammer attack that nearly killed an elderly woman near Lisenby Avenue Tuesday night serves as a frightening reminder.

As we approach Thanksgiving, it’s not so much a reminder that you might be a victim of such a heinous act as it serves to remind us how good most of us have it, and how quickly it can all change.

Prior to 5 p.m. Tuesday, presumably, a family and all the extensions inherent - children, grandchildren, in-laws, former in-laws, friends, acquaintances, neighbors - went about the business of preparing for Thanksgiving.

Then then news of the attack. It is impossible to imagine what it must be like to get news that a loved one, or friend or neighbor, has been savagely attacked and nearly killed.

Neighbors become fearful, sad and angry. They want to know why Jerry Alvis, 52, was out of jail and able to attack the woman within a week of being arrested for battering her. They want to know why someone with his criminal history was allowed to live at James R. Asbell Memorial Homes in the first place.

They wonder why his bond on the battery charge was only $1,500.

The woman faces surgery and unknown rehabilitation. Her life is shattered. A family deals with tragedy.

So the fact that I was shorted .39 cents at McDonald’s - man was I mad - and that work is stressful and that my headlight burned out and that I don’t have as much money as I’d really like and that people just won’t do what I want them to do, well, it’s now put back in perspective.

Take a few minutes to be grateful today for those who aren’t as fortunate.

Single guy tip No. 12: If a movie title has the word “porno” in it, no matter the rating or genre, thoroughly research said movie before taking someone to it on a first date.

“Zack and Miri Make a Porno” is not the exception to this rule.

The brief “review” I saw was innocent enough: “Lifelong platonic friends Zack and Miri look to solve their respective cash-flow problems by making an adult film together. As the cameras roll, however, the duo begin to sense that they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought.”

It would have paid to read the actual review. By movie’s end, I decided I had seen X-rated fare with less sex. I’m not sure about my date, as she spent much of the time averting her eyes. 

“Now when I was your age,” I might tell a young lad of 24 or so, “an ‘R’ rating meant the woman might end up with a wet T-shirt for a scene.”

And the young man would likely look at me the same way I used to look at my grandfather when he said the biggest thrill in movies when he was younger might be a woman in a dress exposing her leg above the ankle.

The mood for the date was light, so we had eschewed “Eagle Eye,” a suspense/action movie with a PG-13 rating, for Zack and its “R” rating. It stars the lovable Seth Rogan and the cute Elizabeth Banks. What could go wrong?

Well, it seems the ratings system has changed. As was explained to by various reporters rolling their eyes when they heard what I’d done, what used to be “G” is “PG,” what used to be “PG” is now “PG-13,” etc., and if you are going to see an “R” rated movie, well, you might run across a man in a raincoat.

This is not to say the movie wasn’t funny. I heard several people laugh as I repeatedly explained to my date that I certainly had no idea what we were getting into.

There’s a reason you don’t let the man pick the movie, I suppose.